Whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s hard to ignore the love that surrounds us, literally, as we enter into February. From cute cards and chocolates to teddy bears holding hearts, love and relationships are everywhere! And all of this noise causes a stir of emotions, whether it’s being happy in our present relationships, bubbling over with joy, or feeling alone and isolated because we haven’t found the right romantic partner.
Regardless of where you are and as cliche as it sounds, true love starts by loving ourselves first. It emanates deep from within our heart center. It shows up in our inner dialog and how we treat ourselves. It extends out into our interactions with others. It can be the impetus behind volatile reactions when we are triggered by those areas where we lack self love.
So many of us tend to struggle with issues of self-esteem or “worthiness”. We think we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough.
But we are enough. Simply being here is a miracle and a feat in and of itself - something to be celebrated! In the Buddhist tradition, it is said that to be born human is luckier than it is for a blind sea turtle swimming from the bottom of the ocean to come up for air every 100 years and thread its head through a wooden cattle yolk that floats atop the ocean waves.
In order to love yourself, you must first be kind. How would you respond to a child who is crying or hurting? Witness your inner feelings from that perspective and notice how kindness steps forward. Kindness softens our hearts and imparts gentleness. It is encouraging and comforting.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made. You are only human and mistakes allow us to learn and evolve. It is easy to be our own worst critic, always aiming high and feeling let down and less than when we don’t achieve our own expectations. Forgiveness invites space for compassion to move through and resolve negative emotions.
Compassion is one of the highest vibrations. It feels like a big smile on the inside. Can you show yourself the same level of compassion that you would show those that you love? Reflect on your own heart and see its hopes and dreams. Hold it softly in your awareness and surround it with loving compassion.
Practice deep self-acceptance. As humans, we have a negativity bias. So it is easy to get caught in a mindtrap of comparison and judgement. The key to shifting this energy is awareness. When you notice yourself in a serious judgement loop, look deeper into yourself and just be fully present. Is this really how you deserve to be treated? If you find that your inner voice is condescending or critical, answer back to it. Tell it that even though you may be [insert negative thought here], you completely love and accept that part of yourself. With continual practice, that inner voice will become less critical and more loving.
Self love is all about feeling good, physically, mentally, and spiritually. To support this journey, our crystal friends are here to help by raising our vibration and imparting the qualities of love, compassion, joy, and calmness. To incorporate crystals into your self-love practice, you can program them with a self love mantra such as:
I completely love and accept myself.
And then carry them with you throughout the day or place them some place you will see every day. When you come into contact with that crystal, say your mantra out loud or to yourself.
Here are some of our favorite crystals for self love:
Rose quartz is associated with the heart chakra promoting balance, healing, self-love, and expanding the heart with compassion. It has a gentle but powerful energy that radiates love and is supportive with all aspects of love - familial, friend, self-love, romance. It helps to attract romance into your life and strengthen existing relationships. It can be used in fertility grids and manifestations to help heal and soothe the heart, removing blocks that may be preventing pregnancy. As the stone of true, unconditional love, it assists the heart with forgiveness to heal past trauma or negative self talk to bring about more compassion and understanding.
Rhodochrosite is a stone that is great for helping you to open up your heart and allow yourself to heal. It helps to lift depression, encouraging you to embrace a more positive outlook in life. It helps you to learn to not only love yourself, but to let others love you as well.
Lepidolite is one of the best mood stabilizing stones available, helping to balance the mind and spirit. It induces a sense of calm when things are stressful and chaotic. It helps to reduce anxiety and depression and promotes deep relaxation. Lepidolite will also help to bring a sense of awareness to your own actions and encourage you to pause and reflect before acting.
Whatever you choose, let it be a reminder that you deeply love and care for your soul. Everytime you look at it, know that you are enough.
We all are different. We all are beautiful. We are all special and we owe it to ourselves to recognize and acknowledge that. Like with any relationship, it will take time to build. But the sooner we can accept our body, our weaknesses, our flaws, who we fully are, the sooner we can open ourselves up to experience our fullest expression.
Check my full list of Valentine’s Gift Ideas, thoughtfully curated to empower you, protect you from negative energy (even if that negativity is coming from yourself), and serve as a reminder of self love.