Deep down, we all desire to live an authentic life, free of judgment and criticism, with the space to speak, act, and think freely. But for many, these moments are fleeting. We wear so many masks for so many different people and environments, contorting ourselves to fit in so that we can feel like we belong. For many, our sense of self is predicated on what others think. And so our behavior adapts to supporting this sense of self that is based on external validation. We learn this at a very early age and we record programs for how to act in the subconscious mind. By the time we are adults, our behavior has become so engrained and our lives have been shaped by these subconscious beliefs and programs.
Because thoughts, words, feelings and actions are all energy, these programmed ways of living become energy patterns. Here is the most common energetic imbalance that keeps people from living authentically and three crystal recommendations to support it.
The Energy Pattern of Proving
The energy of proving is a distorted masculine energy that lives in our solar plexus. It is derived from how we assert our will and how we take action in the world. And when we are working in the energies of proving, we are often way out of balance in this energy center. We overextend ourselves in our actions but more than that, there is often an emotional component that marries with the doing that becomes even more exhausting, creating a much bigger energy drain. This pattern leads to burnout and robs you of your vital life force energy. It will take a toll on your physical, mental and emotional health, but more than that, it dampens your spirit because it keeps you from living from your center, aligned and true to yourself.
This energy pattern of proving often comes from feelings of inadequacy or imposter syndrome. We may feel that we are not truly qualified or deserving of our accomplishments, and so we work hard to prove to that we are indeed capable and successful.
In reality, we are simply proving ourselves to ourselves. Our perception of what others think about our accomplishments is shaped by our own deeply rooted feelings of unworthiness.
Another reason for this proving energy pattern is that we may have a deep-seated desire to be recognized and valued by others. We may feel that if we can prove ourselves and our worth, we will earn the respect and admiration of those around us.
This behavior is largely driven by the ego. It is the ego that seeks external validation to shape its sense of self so it can feel safe. If safety isn't inherent in your body, this will become a never-ending quest. You will work tirelessly to prove your value and chase recognition at every turn. It is an endless race that over time, becomes depleting and leads to burnout.
Lastly, we may feel pressure to meet certain expectations, either from ourselves or from others. This pressure can lead us to constantly strive to prove ourselves and demonstrate our abilities, even when it is not necessary.
If this is the energy you're working in, it is important to evaluate whether the expectations are realistic. Should you remove yourself from the situation altogether to preserve your wellbeing? Or is your understanding of the expectations accurate? Can they be adjusted to bring your energy exchange into balance.The antidote to the energies of proving is love. When we can give ourselves pure love and compassion, we feel accepted just as we are. We can feel our value, just as we are. We soften the hardened energies of proving and return to grace.
Crystal Companions to Support this Energetic Imbalance
It is important to note that there are many modalities to approaching energetic imbalances. I personally believe in taking a holistic approach that encompasses integrative coaching, subconscious reprogramming, and energy healing. I include all of these methods inside my Anchor the Light Academy: The Awakened Path of Self-Mastery program.
With that, here my top three crystal recommendations:
1. Rose Quartz
When it comes to the energies of proving, the real antidote is love. When we can give ourselves pure love and compassion, we feel accepted just as we are. We can feel our value, just as we are. We soften the hardened energies of proving and return to grace.
Rose quartz is helpful because it brings a gentle, loving energy that helps us to be compassionate with ourselves. It helps us to remember who we are and to feel nurtured when we are stressed.
About Rose Quartz:
Rose Quartz is a master healer and is associated with the heart chakra promoting balance, healing, self-love, and expanding the heart with compassion. It has a gentle but powerful energy that radiates love and is supportive with all aspects of love - familial, friend, self-love, romance. As the stone of true, unconditional love, it assists the heart with forgiveness to heal past trauma or negative self talk to bring about more compassion and understanding.
2. Dalmatian Jasper
When we are working with energies of extreme, it is helpful to bring in energies that support balance and grounding. There is no better grounding force than mother earth, which is why crystals are so helpful! I love dalmatian jasper because it brings together harmony, protection, and joy, all of which help one to release the need to prove and move into surrender, aligning with your true essence.
About Dalmatian Jasper:
Dalmatian jasper is comprised of feldspar and black tourmaline and offers the energetic qualities of both. It is a balancing stone that helps to find the harmony between yin and yang. It provides protection and absorbs negative energy. It is supportive of the root chakra helping to dissolve worry and distrust, and impart a lighthearted, child-like essence. It restores an attitude of fun helping you to ground in the physical body with acceptance and joy.
When it comes to balancing the solar plexus, my favorite stone is citrine. Citrine is a variety of quartz, which is a master healer. It helps to restore balance, confidence and to reset the emotional body to bring a positive outlook on life.
Citrine is a stone for manifestation, fostering creativity, and strengthening your personal will. It does not hold negative energy, instead helps to dispel and ground any negativity. It serves to stimulate the chakras and helps to clear the mind, allow you to focus on your intentions.
How to Work with Crystals
For more information on how to work with crystals, check out this blog post, Five Simple Ways to Work with Crystals. For a deeper dive, check out my self-paced, online class, Understanding Crystal Energy.
We are biodynamic beings with a myriad of factors that determine how we show up in our lives. Everyone has their own unique motivations and experiences, and so the reasons for why we subconsciously program these patterns of proving may vary from person to person. It can be confronting to examine the inner workings of your mind and emotions. Be gentle with yourself and if you find that you need additional support, please reach out to a helping professional. It is an empowering act to advocate for yourself and to change your life from the inside out to truly co-create the life you desire.